Category Archives: Dreams

The Dance of Truth Part 1

Introduction

Creatives come in all shapes and sizes. They express themselves through many disciplines. The one thing I believe they all have in common is an ever expanding bandwidth of perception. That is, they go way beyond the approved fives senses and protocols.

Creatives are labeled and categorized as painters, musicians, writers, dancers, scientists, inventors, and more recently Contact Experiencers. Creatives use their expanded bandwidth of perception to bring in new ideas, and explore through their chosen medium.

Another thing that many creatives have in common is a history of abuse, trauma or other severe psychological and physical pressure that blows the lid off their previous reality and opens them to More. Whitley Strieber writes knowledgeably about this in his explorative books as a Contact Experiencer. I believe the Nazis also knew about this link between expanded consciousness and trauma and were actively exploring this, specially in their experiments on twins. There is dark stuff, here…..

Creatives are not necessarily artists and artists are not necessarily those who make a living through their art. An Artist is someone who has no choice but to explore reality through their personal creative lens of expanded bandwidth. They may never make a penny from their art, they may never be recognized for their contribution, even posthumously. Yet, they risk all – material stability, meaningful relationships – and sanity – to continue seeking Truth.

Truth is the operative word here. Centuries ago artists had patrons who supported those whom they considered worthy. This system necessitated the creative individual doing what the patron wished. It was also a system that didn’t churn out artists. Not many people were able to become working artists. These blessed few made a living, were able to create masterpieces, but rarely had true artistic freedom. They did however become very creative at getting their vision out there within the perimeters drawn for them. Often a win/win scenario.

In the early 20th Century this form of art patronage began to dissolve along with the monarchies of Europe. What replaced individual patronage became what we see today: Art as mass commodity. As we see, the brilliance of the potentially highly Creative is subjugated beneath corporate profit through the sales of a product: the artist’s explorations become a means to an end (money), rather than the end itself (creative satisfaction).

Today we find ourselves as bereft of Truth as we are of inspired, enthused (filled with God) artists. Money is the driving force, technology the new ‘art form’, and we are all starving for a connection to our inner creative motivating life force. We recognize, at best, past successful (money making) forms of entertainments crafted to keep us collectively quiet, dumbed down and above all, not personally Creative.

This, then is the antithesis of True Art. This is where we are now. A creative revolution needs to take place, in my opinion, in order to access much needed guidance forward. That revolution would look like art for art’s sake – to feel the Soul – and a non-commoditized tsunami of creative inspiration toward a natural way of life with Mother Earth.

And art often jumps off into the deep end: forging a link between the highly creative individual and what is termed ‘insanity’. Throughout history we see great artists subject to what we term, mental illness. The list is petty impressive: 

Michaelangelo, Van Gogh, Hogarth, Georgia O’Keefe, Jackson Pollack; Lord Byron, Emily Dickinson, Virginia Woolf and Silvia Plath; Beethoven, Mozart, Schubert, Tchaikovsky, Schoenberg, Wagner, and Satie.…. there are endless more.

In our own time we seem to have an endless list of casualties as well: Marilyn Monroe, Woody Alan, Janis Joplin, Michael Jackson, Kurt Cobain, and Poly Styrene. There are many who are living with their creative-life challenges such as James Taylor.

So, my leading question with this introductory discussion is what is mental illness? Is it pathological, i.e. does it have a physical origin (organic disease, physical impairment, etc.) or only a physical (noticeable by us) manifestation. Is it really a ‘mental’ illness, something of the mind, which we cannot see, only apprehending physical evidence of the mind (i.e. speech patterns, tendencies, personal ethics, choices, attitudes, etc.). Or is it of an entirely different nature, something that modern science (our current religion) doesn’t even take into account: a spiritual illness caused by disconnection from our Source which that very science insists does not exist. 

In Russian, the word to denote insanity literally means ‘soul sickness’. 

If it is a spiritual disease, (we are indeed spiritual beings living in a physical human form using a once-natural system of hard- and software to perceive the world around us), how can science in all its attainment hope to help, cure or otherwise banish a spiritual illness in which it will never believe? Quite the conundrum!

Daryl Anka (channeller of Bashar) gives a perfect analogy from his own personal experience. I paraphrase here: say that higher consciousness is a gear spinning incredibly fast, and our body-mind unit is a gear spinning quite slowly. When these two gears connect, the slower one’s gears get stripped. (Translating Infinity podcast no. 4)

I came to this deep pondering over decades of personal spiritual exploration without the use of drugs or anything outside of my own innate technologies. One historical character that exemplified this deep questioning for me was the early 20th Century dancer, Vaslav Nijinsky. It is he with whom I will explore these deep questions that it seems I’ve been moving inexorably toward over the past 40 years: I take a look at his life as the Artist-creative who dove deeply and didn’t come back.

I start this exploration with Part 1 and how I came to be involved in dance and the trajectory on which dreams can send one. In Part 2 I write about Nijinsky’s early life and career; Part 3 covers his gear-stripping experience and subsequent institutionalization. And in closing, Part 4 looks at the concept of sanity vs. insanity.

Part One: Why am I writing this?

I am a Contact Experiencer*. It is a lens I use, not an identity. My first memory of meeting ‘the Others’ was when I was 2-1/2 years old. I have been a desperate seeker of the true nature of Reality ever since: I am 65 at this writing. I‘ve been here a lot longer than I thought I’d be…most of the time I’m glad I decided to see the Mission through. But it was touch and go for decades.

I’ve experienced visitations by ‘the Others’, heard recurring non-discernible murmuring up until puberty, had dreams that were much more Real than ‘reality’ and many more experiences. Later in life, I now receive Transmissions from ‘the Others’, my Team I call them, and speak Star Language. But this is not the subject of this exploration.

I am now predominantly a visual artist, in the realm of art expression that is, but when I was younger, dance was a large part of my life. I remember dancing in front of the TV at a very young age, copying the movements of ‘hula-girls’. Around the age of 6, I saw my first full-length classical ballet on PBS – The Nutcracker. I was totally smitten. I never took ballet classes as a child, although that was a ‘thing’ for many young girls back then. I was not encouraged toward extra-curricular activities in my family. 

At 9 I was again dancing in front of the TV set –  this time, to the Beatles. I found that when music moved me, and so much of it did, I would dance. I often feel so fortunate for having been born at a time of great music, and great dancers, too: Rudolph Nureyev, Mikhail Baryshnikov, Natalia Makarova, Alexander Godunov, to name but a few.

In 1972 I was taken to see my first ballet by a dancer-friend and her mother. I don’t remember what ballet was performed, but I do remember the star: Edward Villella, America’s premier male dancer at the time. I was 16 and we had front row seats. 

When we went backstage afterwards to get our programs autographed, Villella warmly greeted me, saying he’d noticed me in the front row. I was thrilled beyond belief! But when nothing was said to my friend as she stepped up, I was mortified. She suffered from scoliosis and wore a body brace most of the time. I plunged into feelings of deep unworthiness, which rather set the tone of life, an on going painful struggle.

In my late 20s I began to have recurring dreams of dancing with Nureyev. I cannot adequately describe the feeling of freedom in these dreams; being unfetter by the physical. It was otherworldly, and magnificently wonderful! I had the incredible experience of see him dance, not once, but three times in London in 1977. I will never forget the dramatic feeling of Presence as he came onstage. It rolled out over the audience and palpably hit me with a physical force.

The Spirit of the Rose, watercolor, © Zuzanna Vee

In 1982 I came across a biography of Vaslav Nijinsky by his wife, Romola. Pluto* was squaring my moon. It was then that I was introduced to a being of incomparable beauty both inside and out. Someone who was used and projected upon; seen as ‘the god of dance’ and is still considered the best male dancer of the 20th Century. After about only a 10-year career, he was said to have suddenly gone mad. Soon after reading this book, my life took off on a course of my own unconscious devising. I entered a hell-state for quite some time as I endeavored to remember who I was. Entering my first Saturn Return*, in many ways I often felt as if I was loosing my grip. But I was never really sure I wanted to be here anyway.

By 1992 I had returned from 15 years abroad and was living in Durham, NC. One day I received a paper in the mail advertising the American Dance Festival, held annually at Duke University nearby. I clearly remember the large print across the page: 

This is the summer that will change your life!

Message received – I immediately signed up for a week’s intensive Dance Therapy Workshop with Marcia Leventhal, now president elect of the American Dance Therapy Association. I was then also taking twice-weekly modern dance classes at Duke University with Carol Child, enjoying weekly swing dance lessons with Richard Badu, and attending weekly dances held locally. Dance, at this point was my life. I was 36.

The week of dance therapy was an amazing and life altering experience. It started at 10am each morning, and ended in the late afternoon, after which we were expected to attend performances in the evening. It was a hectic, but joyous schedule. Our classroom was an old wooden building, and not air-conditioned. It was July in the South. Needless to say, I sweated profusely, something my body didn’t do easily. I loved this total experience so much and my body had never felt so fit.

The Saturday morning after the week of dance immersion finished, I was on the phone telling a friend about my experience. Suddenly, seemingly out of no where, I began to shift in consciousness so dramatically, that I recall vaguely saying into the phone, “I have to hang up now – something’s happening.”

I then experienced a two-day period of my third eye opening. I could feel a pressure in the center of my forehead as if something was forcing it to split in two. I sat most of that time on the screened porch and just observed. My entire representational orientation to the Divine altered, and I ‘knew’ in those moments how the Divine created everything: through projecting an image out from Herself. 

Fortunately I had a long-standing background of personal yoga practice and as a trained instructor, so I was not afraid. I had also had a similar experience in Italy in 1989 involving my heart center and crown. I knew what was going on: the intense, sustained physical activity and cleansing I had just undergone had opened one of the portals within my body.

It was around this time (though I can’t pin point the exact date) that I had another important experience. I was on spiritual retreat with a friend and her son, and because we came as ‘a family’ we got to stay in a house that I never would have gotten to stay otherwise. On the Saturday afternoon, I was alone in the house when I began to perceive what I could only describe as the Spirit of Dance communing with me. It was such a deeply moving experience and lasted for quite some time. All that night I felt held in the arms of love by the Spirit of Dance.

Later, when my friend returned, I told her of the experience. She didn’t know that I didn’t know, but this had been the house of Margaret Craske a famous dancer in the early 20th Century who went on to teach Cecchetti technique until in her 90s. She had died in this house before it had been moved to the retreat center. I only discovered now, as I research for this article, that she actually danced with the Ballet Russes’ production of Les Sylphides in London in 1920! Very soon after my experience, the house was hit by lightning and burned to the ground. No other damage in the vicinity was done. I guess the business of the Spirit of Dance had been completed.

I continued to dance for several years after the Dance Therapy week. In about 6 months time, my life’s orientation changed. During a routine yearly exam in early 1993, I was told I had cancer. I swiftly booked a 3-week stay at a spiritual ashram in India. I mostly slept, waking only for meals or the bathroom. I felt I was being healed quietly and thoroughly on the inside. When I got back, not only did I not have cancer, but I took up the study of herbalism formally, and began to paint more than I ever had previously. My dreams also became much more enlightening. I have never been back to the doctor since.

Concurrent to my dance interests, I was also a visual artist as mentioned. I finally got the technical training I’d been sorely missing (being self-taught up till then) when I was in my early 50s, and living in New York City. I could now finally bring out of my depths all the visuals and visions that previously were stuck inside. Words could not render my experiences. Without a model or photograph, it was often impossible to effectively translate my inner life. Now a method, a means of expressing my rich inner life was available to me for the first time; this contributed greatly to the progressive excavation of Authentic Self I had embarked upon. 

I have had a full and varied life, but I will now jump ahead 40 years from Pluto squaring my Moon to Pluto conjuncting my moon in February 2022. It all started with a dream….

On January 26, 2022, I dreamt of Nureyev again after many, many years. In this dream I was at the foot of an old fashioned bed looking into a mirror that hung over the headboard. In the mirror I could see Nureyev leaning backwards onto the bed. I was given to know that he had once slept in this bed, and I was happy that I was going to be able to sleep in the same bed as he once had. The mirror showed me the past.

As I do with my dreams, I research them online when that feels appropriate. I watched films of Nureyev dancing, and some bio-pics and documentaries just to see what this might bring up in me. I got The White Crow out of the library to watch – a very worthwhile retelling of the lead up to Nureyev’s defection from the USSR in 1961. During this immersive research, the event with Edward Villella and its link with my underlying feelings of unworthiness came to light. 

Then, on February 6th I began to ‘connect’ with Nijinsky again. I felt not quite obsessed, but driven to find out more about him. I discovered much new research material that was not available to me 40 years ago. 

There was never any film footage taken of Nijinsky dancing or of the early Ballet Russes. He was one of the first to recognize the importance of cinematography and urged Diaghilev to preserve all their great ballets on film. Alas, Diaghilev felt the technology of the times was too crude, and he didn’t want the dancers graceful, fluid movements to be recorded as the jerky scenes he saw at the cinema (A Leap Into Madness, by Peter Ostwald, 1991 p139). But there are many beautiful photographs. Christian Comte has created short digital reconstructions from photographs to produce a sort of movement-illusion from a few of the ballets Nijinsky danced. You can find these on Youtube. They are mesmerizing. 

This deep dive began a series of ‘connections’ with the feeling of Nijinsky and I painted a watercolor of him as Le Spectre de la Rose, from the ballet by the same name. Then I began feeling that I was spending all my DreamTime with him, though I couldn’t remember much in the mornings – just the feeling. 

On February 11th I dreamt that two blue beings walked through a door into the room where I was. Then I saw a black and white stripped bed spread or table cloth. As I awoke, these three images (two figures and the patterned cloth) melded into synthesis, and I painted it. I based the figures on photographs of Nijinsky’s portrayal of The Blue God (Krishna) ballet because in the dream that was what these blue figures felt like. Two days later I dreamt that Spirit of the Dance was giving me an involved demonstration that showed a heart being placed between the two blue beings on the painting.

The Blue Beings dream, watercolor, © Zuzanna Vee

I began to feel that there was something I was supposed to do for Nijinsky, though by this time I couldn’t quite think of the Spirit I was feeling as him exactly. It was him, but in a more expanded sense; and neither male nor female. Very hard to explain. I began feeling a deep love for him; a very deep connection of communing. And this is where this article comes in: Was there more to be discovered about his life? Or my life through discovering more about him?

In my life-time the left brain characteristics of analytical, logical, computing, rule-followers has largely been the praise-worthy part of our brain functions. For millennia this was the direction we all happily moved toward. It is called the patriarchy. We reached the pinnacle of left-brain experience at the very point in time when the Earth reached a crisis point of devastation. No coincidence there. The insistence upon the logic of domination by the most ‘intelligent’ has created our present, dire global circumstances.

But what happens when one, or some, do not fall in line with this way of being? What happens when a very few, perhaps unknown to one another, are operating from a predominantly right brain ‘logic’? When feeling-emotions, and creative motivations are one’s predominant approach to living; when not money, career or relationships, but Art as Truth, is one’s driving force? 

I can tell you first hand what happens: unless one is highly financially successful, one is reviled, and misunderstood, often deliberately; denigrated, ignored, ridiculed, shunned, and labeled: crazy. Contact Experiences are very, very familiar with the Collective’s method of dealing with their own discomfort. So are Artists.

When one runs counter to the accepted, prevailing left-brain logic, following the heart’s feeling-knowing instead of head-logic, life here can be brutal. It is only when one has contact with others of like-heart and experience that one can obtain the much-needed validation, corroboration, and the necessary mirroring to feel safe, sane and able to thrive.

This has only been available to the contemporary Contact Experiencer of late, though many of us had been told for years that this time was fast approaching. For me, when it finally arrived in early 2020, all previous suffering was felt as well worth it. The expanding circle of Expanded Humans is now quickly realizing that our lives as the avant garde were the template of a future that is now. We were trained, formed, molded – often kicking and screaming – as we were taught how to be True Humans in isolation, often, but not always, in obscurity. 

And now, imagine the dear Souls who volunteered to come here a hundred years earlier to begin the creation of the energetic template for this new paradigm in which we now find ourselves. Imagine no psychedelic context, nor shamanic journeying, nor even the context of the ‘New Age’ of the 1980s and 90s, let alone the era of Love & Peace of the mid-1960s. What do you feel life would have been like for one so destined? 

I am going to show you, in the next installment…..

Vaslav Nijinsky, about 21 year of age

*Contact Experiencer: a person who has a broader bandwidth of perception than the average person acceptably experiences. We receive information from unrecognized and unquantifiable sources. A person, for instance, who has ‘imaginary friends’; a muse, such as Carl Jung’s Philemon. Someone who sees what others don’t, can’t or won’t see: angels, ETs, light ships, Beings, Faeries, dead people…… Someone who hears messages or ‘knows’ things intuitively. Those who speak Star, Light or Mother Tongue languages. Those who journey and bring back needed information that does what it is purported to do. In other words, creative individuals who are open to more than the five perceptual senses. Religion calls this the work of the devil; conventional science calls it insanity, pseudo-science, quackery, Venus, or swamp gas because they cannot capture and measure the experiences of others. Who, I ask, can?

*Pluto is the planet of transformation. Whatever it activates through astronomical aspect, gets changed dramatically. It is often experienced dramatically because most of us have a vested interest in keeping the status quo. When Pluto affects a person by transit it is wise to let go and allow the process to proceed unhampered.

*Saturn Return is when the transiting planet of Saturn comes back to the same place that it was at birth. It signals an opportunity to step into further maturity and happens roughly every 28 years. Like Pluto, Saturn exacts certain necessities of change and we will suffer less if we accept what happens during this transit with equanimity, and allow the change to advance. 

My deepest gratitude to Florentina, Liz and Prem for reading my first drafts of all four parts of this lengthy article. Your support of the project and my process, as well as your stupendous editorial suggestions are appreciated beyond words.

For years of on-going support, mirroring and acceptance, I wish to thank Daphne and Eileen. I couldn’t have made it to ‘now’ without your Presence in my life.

And a deep karmic bow to Judith who has housed me over this last 14 months. I would not have been able to write this article, nor the many other creative projects I engaged in, without the shelter, and comfort this afforded me. I will forever be grateful for this selfless gift you gave me. 

Cosmic Weather Report Feb. Full Moon 2022

The full moon at 4 degrees sidereal Leo is Wednesday, February 16th at noon EST. The Star Language at the end helps to anchor the energies for the lunar month. Take a moment to ground, if you haven’t beforehand, before listening to the Star Language. You will feel and integrate it then.
Let us know what you perceive; does this resonate?
Blessings for the month.
Zuzanna

Check out my Star Language Oracle readings – click here.

PS. Ignore the ads that WordPress feels it can inflict upon you. It is because this is a free website.

Dragon Line Activation in England

Greetings, everyone. It’s been a while since I posted. I’ve been painting, experiencing, being, and connecting. I hope your summer was a good one, too.

The reason I am blogging now is that I have another Dragon (Ley) Line event to share. This one is from Liz in southern England. I had talked with Liz on July 21, 2021, about a feeling I had that there may be a Dragon Line where she was living. I did some research and sent her some links to see if she would be able to investigate. 

Photograph by Liz

Then things took off in the way that they often do and we weren’t able to connect for quite some time. But finally, on Sept 15, we got to visit again and the wait was well worth it.

Here is her account from what I remember of our conversation yesterday with her subsequent fact checking: 

Several months ago (it is September 2021 as I write), when Liz looked up into the sky in her area, she saw a fine transparent, rainbow hued structure over the area of her town. This structure had been made, and is being made, by herself in the Dream Time, unremembered until that moment. As she looked further beyond, she saw other similar structures in the distance that are being created by others. 

Liz’s states: “The purpose of the structures are to form an energetic over-ground grid system that feeds, supports, holds and anchors the multi-dimensional higher frequencies of Unconditional Love and Unity Consciousness, from which the new collective consciousness will emerge. It is also there to support those who have already made the choice to embody and anchor their own higher frequencies as they help others to do so, and this is how the new consciousness will emerge through the generations as a collective consciousness in the harmonic Unconditional Love frequencies.

“These over-ground structures are there to support the human collective consciousness as an anchor to Mother Earth and The Mother. The Dragon Lines/crystalline grid system anchors the frequencies in Gaia and radiates out to the human consciousness. In short, the Dragon lines/crystalline grid system is the bridge that holds and connects Gaia’s consciousness to humans as well as being a framework to hold Her new consciousness; the over-ground structures are the bridges that hold and connect the human consciousness to Gaia, as well as being infrastructure to support the new human collective consciousness.”

Prior to the experience below, Liz attended the group transmission with Eileen Meyer on Monday, August 16th. Soon after that powerful group experience, Liz had a profound meeting with Light Beings and a subsequent merging with one of them. This is, in her opinion, what facilitated the following: 

On August 24th Liz was able to walk to the standing stone in her town that we felt might be a good place to start. It was….

The stone is located near a busy thoroughfare and although it had been moved to widen the road, it was not far from its original placement. It is about 2.5 feet tall. As she approached, she had the feeling to place her right hand upon the stone. She immediately felt a warm energy and tingling flow up her arm and into her body. She was shown a map of the immediate area and multiple Dragon Lines issuing forth from the stone. After a short time, she removed her hand, and walked away. 

Photograph by Liz

She didn’t get but 30 seconds away, when she realized she needed to go back to the stone. This time she lay her left hand upon the stone and the same thing happened: feeling the warm, tingling sensation and seeing the map of Dragon Lines coming from the stone ‘energy hub’. She was also aware of downloads that were, and remain, inarticulable.

After a short time, she again removed her hand and walked on. Again, not 30 seconds later, she strongly felt the need to go back for a third encounter. This time the message was to place both hands upon the stone, creating a closed circuit.

Now she was given the knowing that she, in the distant past, had placed this stone here to be activated at this time by herself in the present. Her coming together with the stone at this timing, and placing her hands upon it was the activation of the stone, enabling the radiating Dragon Lines, and also activating something within herself.

This is a profound example of what some of us are doing consciously and unconsciously; why we are here at this Timing; and that we have a very important reason for being here just now

Concurrently with Liz’s experience on the August 24th, I started the painting of a recent dream of Three Golden Lions looking at me. On the 25th my Team suggested I put three large dots under the Lions; on the 26th, after I had completed their suggestion, I was shown the Dragon Lines radiating out from the ‘hubs’. 

Three Golden Lions watercolor on paper © Zhuzhava

Please take some time to research where you are living, wherever that may be, and do some field work if you feel so called. Standing stones, natural springs, ancient churches, etc. often provide clues on an Ordinance Survey map of the area. There is often a straight line through all of these points of reference, i.e. standing stones or small circles, springs and sacred structures, etc. 

The Earth, I believe, is being re-gridded and the big tourist-y sites immediately thought of such as Stonehenge, Avebury, etc., may have diverted their energies at this time to other places that are more protected from harmful influences. Or they may also be facilitating the sharing of energies needed at this Timing. 

You, the reader, may be consciously or unconsciously involved with this re-gridding of the Gaia’s Light Systems for a purpose yet unrecalled. If these blogs about the Dragon Lines have piqued your interest, I strongly suggest you investigate further as mentioned above. Let me know what you discover.

Other news:

Now that the intense heat is diminishing, Daphne, in Crete, is planning her third of four Dragon Walks for October 1st. I will be reporting on that as I get the information from her. These walks are not only awakening the Dragons but also bringing Goddess’ energy back to the island.

My attention has also been drawn to the Nilotic Ley Line in Africa from Cairo to Durban. It has been suggested that this is the energetic backbone of the Earth. 

If you have any information to further this investigation, whether it be through dreams, vision, energy experience in situ, or 3D corroborative information from a book, etc., that you’ve read, please let me know. 

That’s it for now. The Autumn Equinox is upon us. The next phase of work leading to the new year begins. Keep yourself healthy and positive in whatever way you feel guided. Choose love in each moment and remain in the present. There is no fear, blame, or guilt in the Precious Present. Love is the source of all movement forward in balance and peace. Act on your Intuitive Knowing.

Please check out my new offering: Star Language Oracle readings.

Blessings to you all,

Zhuzhava